Saturday, June 14, 2014

Clipping the bushes

My beautiful gardenias have been a source of pride for me for several years.  My mother rooted them for me from her bushes.  She taught me how to break them off in just the right place and root them for my friends.  But after a particularly cold winter, my bushes were brown.  Brown and sad.  My husband clipped off the brown twigs and leaves.  They are finally beginning to show some new green growth.  He planted some new plants in our fairy fort and filled the bird feeders.

Inside, I am cleaning closets.  Old clothes that we have not been wearing have been packed along with some household goods that have not been used for quite a while.  I sat down with two crates of notebooks from my master's program from eight years ago.  After re-living that two years of my learning journey through notes about leadership, memories flooded back to me....  lively conversations in my cohort classes, late night reading and writing, and meetings with my colleagues preparing presentations.  I emptied the binders and threw away the notes, except for a few papers I wrote.  I worked too hard to throw them away.  They will be added to my portfolio.

The clothing, the household goods, and the empty binders have been picked up by the Vietnam Vets pickup service.  We are seeing more cardinals and sparrows in the fairy fort and in the bird house.  Yesterday we saw a rabbit hopping around the yard along with several squirrels.

As hard as it is to let go of the old things, I have to remember that they are just THINGS.  I am learning that this process is necessary to make room for the new and exciting things to come.  We are continuing to clean and declutter, looking forward to next year and whatever life brings.

I hope it brings us some new gardenias.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Fairy Fort-- Revisited

It's been quite a while since posting here.  There have been many changes in my life and many more to come in the near future.

The Fairy Fort has changed as well.  Last summer we had to dig up our backyard because of our septic system.

All is good now, and we are starting over.   We have some new flowers in the Fairy Fort, and a few of the old ones.  Sadly, the beautiful crape myrtles are gone from the center of our yard.   Our little Fairy Fort is treeless.   However, we still have the beautiful crape myrtles that line the fence in the yard (safely away from the septic lines).

I said before that the Fairy Fort is a metaphor for my life.  I have had to adjust my thinking about the Fairy Fort.  Perhaps my life IS a fairy fort.  Some things change.  You lose a few trees and gain a beautiful birdhouse.  People come and go out of our lives; the way we use our time changes; and somehow possessions are not so important anymore.  Starting over is more important.

From this perch,  there is a new perspective on the Fairy Fort (and life).  I am still de-cluttering.  I am still a perfectionist and a procrastinator.  I have not given up.  I am still trying.  And I am still improving my thinking and my life.